Troika to Offend

A troika is a three form type of poem. Take an experience and write a short prose page about it, then write one rhymed poem and one that does not rhyme. Some like to mix the order to provide a different substance to it. Enjoy.

Troika to Offend

            I remember when I offended someone, well, maybe a lot of people. It was Thanksgiving of 2010—my first Thanksgiving with my family after five years of being in the army. As usual, my Christianized family said a prayer blessing the food and giving thanks. Looking back, I realize I may have been slightly offended that there was no thanks or acknowledgement to soldiers across the world not able to be with their families. The prayer ended, the family said amen, and I broke out into the beginning of the Muslim prayer just as prideful as an Imam might.

            “Allah Akbar, Allahhhhhhhhh!”

            My sisters found it hilarious and started laughing, but the rest of my family seemed to find it offensive and gave me death glares. I don’t think I fully ruined Thanksgiving with that antic, but my frequent flask swigs might’ve done it.

What is said:

Dear heavenly father,

We want to thank you for this time with family

And bringing us together to give thanks for all

You have provided. We thank you for sending

Your only son to die for our sins.

In Jesus’s name we pray

Amen

What I hear:

Dear god,

Thanks for food

Thanks for family

Thanks for dying and stuff

Allah Akbar!

I’m swiggin’ on a flask.

Hey Zeus, you’re part of God

Kinda like the mole on Uncle Tod

I don’t understand how I can burn in hell

For not choosing the right belief, oh well.

I’ll just be a good person, and try not to offend.

But I’ve got a whiskey filled flask to attend.

A priest, a rabbi, and imam all know your name.

Three different religions, God is the same.

Damned if you aren’t, damned if you are

Mother fuckin’ Allah Akbar!