I Should’ve Caged Her

And she knew that day I

wasn’t coming home for some time

longer than she was used to,

but she smiled and kissed

my face and I said, “I

love you.”

She knew how to occupy herself, even if it was just her thoughts, or sleeping, or

talking with her friends across the apartment hall.

But I had gotten busy, I

had to work longer, I

should’ve gone home, I

could’ve             I didn’t.

I could tell something was wrong when I

Opened the door.       Her tail wasn’t wagging

As I walked down the white walled hall, I—

Realized I didn’t close the bathroom door, where

A rat trap—poisoned—was empty.

How could I have forgotten to close the door?

Did I forget to close the door?

How could I have forgotten to close the door?

I should’ve caged her, I

Would’ve closed the door, but I

Had to get her to the vet…

“If she makes it through the night, we’ll know if she’ll make it.”

Cries all night, in my ear, whimpers and paws digging into my arms,

She wouldn’t drink water, she

Only yelped

She wouldn’t look at me, she

Stared at the wall          through the wall

She died in my arms.

The poison blocked her vitamin K cycle, it

Induced internal bleeding

And she took her last hurtful

Gasping

Dying

Death rattle breath

In my arms. I’m sorry.

I wish I would’ve closed the door.